Thanks to pundit Dick Morris we cannot trust any presidential polls as they are uniformly, intentionally and conspiratorially skewed to show liberal bias and hence that is why Obama shows a lead. To fix the problem, we have to unskew them as they “just don’t look right“.
I thought that line of reasoning reflected on local issues as well: we too get bombarded with numbers that , upon careful consideration, need to be unskewed as well. I think you will find my unskewed charts and statistics to speak for themselves:
First, the mayoral race. We all know Mayor Thane did not get a majority of the vote. Well, take a look at what the unskewed data looks like if we remove the Thane supporters who skewed the vote to Mayor Thane. Without that skew, Joe Emanuele is really our mayor:
Next, let’s take a look at the unemployment rate in Montgomery. It looks pretty abysmal with its skewed tendency to stay above 10%. Well, that’s only because the unemployment rate includes the lazy and slothful or my preferred term, the parasitic. if we fix the skew, our unemployment rate is almost non-existent.
if you’re statistically minded and curious as to my methodology, I unskewed based upon my own internal polling that shows 90% of the lazy and slothful are indeed lazy and slothful.
And finally, we can take a look at the outcomes of the recent merger vote in Northville and Mayfield. If we unskew the data by taking out the emotional people, the merger overwhelmingly passes with 100% of the vote.
Remember kids, my motto is fair, balanced and unskewed.