Out-of-Town Vacation Unsettling for Local Resident
Amsterdam, NY (August 17, 2013) — Local resident Vince Flippinati could not be happier to return from vacation several states away from Amsterdam.
“The wife and kids like to get away so it’s something I grin and bear while I’m away.”, remarked a resigned Mr. Flippinati. “What’s hard for me is the first few days before you settle in to a different place. I’m a friendly guy so it’s hard to have people turn away or shake their heads in apparent disgust when you strike up a conversation like we do here. But no one there likes to talk about the problems with their city and why their city sucks — they actually seem to like their city and get a bit angry when you trash it.”
“Just yesterday, I remarked to a local shopkeeper why they should get rid of their two-way streets and reroute traffic given the crowds and the traffic. When I said no one will go there with all that traffic unless they get traffic moving faster and out of the town, he called me a word I can’t mention and told me to leave his shop. But I’ll get the last laugh — his shop may be in business for fourteen years but it’s the fifteenth year that’ll prove me right.”
“The worst day for me on vacations is walking around looking at stuff that is old and somehow interesting because it is ‘historic’. What bugs me is paying to walk around some old house or garden and listening to a bunch of elitists talk ‘architecture’. Give me a break! I’m sick of looking at old buildings especially when you throw in a bunch of crap about ‘repurposing’ or ‘urbanism’. What the hell for? But when you mention what nonsense urbanism is and why no one wants to live in old buildings, they make fun of you. One guy even mentioned a place they converted into artist lofts and he was going to show me. I don’t need to see it to know it’s not going to work or that it’s a bad idea! I really hate vacation.”
Mr. Flippinati was glad to be back in his hometown. “I saw my neighbor today and it felt great to be back in the groove where we left off talking about the same stuff — EBT cards, illegal immigrants, welfare, taxes, hippies. He even told me that some guy on the radio heard from a guy at Stewart’s that it’s not high school seniors who will be shoveling snow on the new downtown streets but senior citizens. And the city won’t buy real shovels but will make them use those toy sand shovels like little kids use at the beach. That’s outrageous! Unless it lowers my taxes.”
As Mr. Flippinati went on his way to some much anticipated shopping on Route 30 outside of the city, he remarked, “Who needs vacation? It’s so great to be back.”